You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
where does the pee come out of this thing
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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