He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize