So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
