The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
