If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
