i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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