Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
