ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize