the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
