yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
