The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
They took my balls.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
