I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
