I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
