just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
