told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
