stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
