Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
im holly from the hills drunk
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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