Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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