I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
