I wanna bring you to show and tell
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think I sprained my soul last night
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
