we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize
