i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
