I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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