Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
