Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
vagina is talking i cant
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
