So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
