OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
im about as happy as oj after his trial
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
