also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
