I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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