i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
