I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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