roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize