He is such a slut. More and more my type.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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