Is it normal to miss your booty call?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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