Can Purell be used as lube?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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