the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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