No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
