before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
