My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
