her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
