That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
