when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I want to be your penis for a week.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
