Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
So vagazzling was a success
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