but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize