I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
