just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
