..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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