you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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