"it" just moved
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
