I think scott just propositioned me for sex
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
