I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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