There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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