I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
