the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
