the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Randomize
