I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
