i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
