Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
