Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
this will be a night to untag.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
whose parrot is this?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
