it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
