We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
