their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
