I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize