I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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