Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
