I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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