i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
