I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
